Group Essay Collaboration

     For my body paragraph, I have changed many grammical errors, and the topic sentence so that it fits with the thesis better. I have also made my commentary stronger so that it will support the thesis. Here it is after I have made my changes:

     Unlike Algernon, Jack starts off as someone who likes marriage, but he is a very dishonest person. Near the beginning of the play, Jack expresses his love to Gwendolen while talking to Algeron. He shows that he is a romantic when he states, “If I marry a charming girl like Gwendolen, and she is the only girl I ever saw in my life that I would marry, I certainly won’t want to know Bunbury” (16). Jack is caught in a trap of dishonesty that Algernon has created for him. Jack wants to change so he can show his true self to his wife. Later in the play Jack seems to have altered his opinions about not being a bunburyist. Gwendolen admits to Jack that she has always dreamed of marrying a man named Ernest and Jack replies, “Do you really mean to say that you couldn’t love me if my name wasn’t Ernest?” (21). This gives Jack second thoughts about admitting to his fiancé his true identity. If Gwendolen will not love Jack if his name was not Ernest, that would mean that being dishonest is the only way to allow for marriage between the couple. By the end of the novel Jack has come to a conclusion about himself and dishonesty. As a result, by the end of the play Jack realizes a very important fact as he says, “I’ve now realized for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest” (90). Jack has now realized that the fictional character Ernest has led him to be able to be married to Gwendolen, whereas at the beginning of the play he felt that Gwendolen would like him just the way he was. The characteristic of being earnest would also have saved Jack a lot of trouble with Gwendolen. By the end of the novel, Jack has changed into a different person because of marriage by learning about what it takes to be an honest person.

     I was wondering whether my concrete details were to far apart from eachother (ex: page 16, page 90) and if I should change that. Also, I am not sure whether I am putting periods in the right places when it comes to quotes from the play. I think that my concluding sentence could also be stronger. Any suggestions?